Advent countdown

I have really come to love this time of year more and more as I've grown older and especially as I've become a parent.  I think for many years, especially when I was working full-time and we had money to spend on presents, the focus really was on Christmas day and there was little time to spend doing the activities that I now find the most meaningful.  Although I wish we had the money to be able to give presents as we once did I have found that not being able to doing the typically shopping has actually relieved quite a bit of pressure and stress from this season.  I have a few items I will always spend money on: sending Christmas pictures, make goodie plates for friends and family, and putting together yearly picture collages of the kids for their grandparents through a great Costco program (check it out, it's super cheap and easy!).  But other than that we really try to make our focus family events, memorable meals (the Grice traditional fondue Christmas Eve dinner and sticky buns for breakfast), and fun crafts at home.

With the baby due to arrive any time (literally!) I haven't had the time or energy to do as much as I would like but have managed to fit in at least one fun activity each day, so far.  Here are a few ideas if you are looking for them:

Crafts:
Tissue paper stars, candy canes, Christmas trees, wreaths, snowman, etc.  Making tissue paper crafts is one of my all-time favorite activitites with the kids because it doesn't require anything other than cardboard (recycled cereal or cracker boxes), glue, and tissue paper (I save what I get from birthdays, showers, etc so have a ton).  Here's what you do:
1. Draw the shape of whatever your kid wants to decorate on cardboard paper and cut it out.
2. Cut appropriate colored tissue paper into approx. 3x3 inch squares.
3. Have kids crumple the squares into small balls
4. Put glue on shape (small portions at a time) and allow kids to stick tissue balls on the glue.  The more colorful the better.
5.  Hang the crafts all over your house!
6.  You can do this any time of year.  We've made numbers, letters, leaves, pumpkins, etc.
7.  Another benefit of this project is that it can be done over many days.  It often takes my kids a few days to finish something.

Baking:
My all-time favorite recipe to make with the kids this time of year is reindeer cookies.  They are easy and have specific steps the kids can easily perform (starting at about age 2).

Reindeer Cookies
36 large pretzels
handful of broken pretzels
1 lb white almond bark
82 chocolate chips
36 red M&Ms

1. Lay pretzels out on wax paper (I do it on our table since our counterspace is limited) spread apart a bit.
2. Melt almond bark according to directions (I have better luck on the stovetop than in the microwave).
3. Spoon small amounts of almond bark into the three spaces of about 5 pretzels at a time (if you do them too quickly it will dry before kids can make eyes, nose, and antlers). 
4. Help kids use chocolate chips for eyes, M & Ms for nose, and broken pieces for antlers.
5. Let dry and store in large Ziplock bags.

Christmas Cards/Pictures:
Encourage your kids to color the back of envelopes for family and friends.  After I've addressed each envelope (or as I'm in the process), I hand them to the kids and ask them to color something for each person.  They always enjoy this and it's a nice way to bring up great memories of people we haven't seen for a while.  As the kids get older they'll draw more specific and meaningful pictures but when they are younger just giving them some red and green crayons and letting them so crazy is great.  I also think it's fun for those receiving the cards to see!  Just be sure to give yourself a few days to get this done as they typically run out of steam after 10-15 envelopes.

Advent Chain:
This year my daughter came home with an Advent chain package from her Sunday school class which we've been putting together, but it's easy enough to make your own too.  What I like about the one she brought home is that it is a chain of Jesus' names throughout scripture so each day we read a new verse and discuss different names that Jesus is called in the Bible.  But you can also do this with regular paper and make the typical rings and write down things you are thankful for, activitites you want to do together, things you have learned from the season, etc.

Unwrapping Christmas Books:
If you are like us you've acquired quite a few Christmas books over the years, everything from the traditional Christmas story to secular books about the season.  A fun activity I read about last year is to wrap these books up and allow kids to choose one a day to open and read as a family.  Of course you can open more than one a day if you want!  I decided to put all Christmas books away in storage last year so that they are new and fresh when we bring them out - plus it saves a little room on our shelves!

Passing out Christmas Goody Trays:
I love the process of making, putting together, and passing out goody trays to family and friends.  I think it's a great way to allow kids to participate in the process of making gifts and giving them away.  We take them to neighbors, church volunteers, family, and friends.  Of course it does take some prep work and planning but it's one of those activitites I really don't mind spending some extra time on.  This year I'm limiting my actual cooking to just a few items and trying to make goodies that require less baking time - simply because of the time and energy used to make them items.  You can always include satsumas, nuts, candy canes, hot coco or apple cider packages, etc. that don't require any prep work on your part.  Just the time spent putting together each plate and spent handing them out (preferably in person) are what warm my heart and this is what I want to pass to my kids.  It's not about how big a gift you give or how much you spend, it's about the thought and love behind it.

Attending Community Functions:
Our favorite outing, other than ones put on by our church, is the "Living Bethlehem" put on by a community church in the area.  Last night was our 3rd year attending and it has become more meaningful and special with each year.  It's really amazing how much kids take away from these events and the memories they create.  With the Internet it's so easy to look up free events that you can attend locally.     

Absence

It's been a while since I've had a chance to post anything here.  Mostly this is due to the fact that I've just been busy and my priority, when I have the time to blog, is posting on my family's site.  But there has been a lot I've been wanting to share and the following two posts are book reviews that I wrote over the last few weeks and just now had a chance to edit and post.  You probably wonder how I find time to read.  It's a good question!  I don't have much time at home and most of the reading I ever get done is when I am subbing, something I did more of a few weeks ago but haven't recently been doing a lot of .  Most of my reading is done with my kids or for my weekly women's biblestudy.  I'm currently trying very had to get into a fantasy series, Wheel of Time, that my husband wants me to read; he's been engrossed in it for the last few months.  I really want to read these so I can enter the world he's been exploring but fantasy isn't my first choice of genre so it's much more work for me.  The other factor working against me, of course, is that this new baby of ours will be entering the world in a few short weeks and I don't anticipate having any free time after this!  However, all that said, my best recommendation for getting time to read is simply unplugging your TV and computer.  It's amazing how much extra time there is when these two devices aren't available to suck our time.  Not that all the "sucking" is bad but let's be honest, at least half of what we do online is completely useless and has no value at all - same goes for TV. 

I have a few more posts I hope to get up before this baby arrives so check back in the next week or so and hopefully I'll have had a chance to get to them!

Love and Respect

I’ve long believed that the best gift you can give your child is to love your spouse and show them a positive and genuine example of marriage. Unfortunately, it’s easy to lose focus of this conviction when stress, exhaustion, and frustration set in. I am too quick to take this out on my husband. Although I love my husband wholeheartedly and am still very much in love with him I sometimes feel I’m not communicating this to him effectively. The book I’m currently reading, Love and Respect, has completely enlightened me to why I am feeling this way and what I can do to make some positive changes in my marriage and in the example I’m setting for my kids.

The author’s basic theory, learned after years of counseling and pastoring, is that women and men have different needs when it comes to receiving love and our society has done a poor job of showing women how to effectively “love” their husbands. He doesn’t let husbands off the hook and has some very clear, straightforward advice and challenges for men. But obviously what I was looking for most was how to show my husband love in a language that he both heard and received. I realized that although I’m good at loving (as most women innately are); I’m not always so good at showing respect. And respect spells love for men. It’s not that I purposely don’t show him respect; I’ve just been ignorant as to what this actually looks like.

Just as husbands are called to love their wives unconditionally, wives are called to respect their husbands unconditionally. This is what most women get caught up on because in our eyes our husbands aren’t always acting in ways that we feel deserves our respect. But are we always acting in a way that deserves his love? Of course not! Respecting unconditionally doesn’t necessarily mean always agreeing with his actions but it does mean treating him respectfully through our actions and words. It also means getting to know what respect looks like and feels like to our husband. The author, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, gives very concrete, specific examples of ways we can let our husbands know that we respect them (he also gives husbands great examples of ways they can show their wives love in ways that are meaningful to us).

All couples go through phases of what Eggerichs appropriately calls “The Crazy Cycle”. I don’t think I even need to explain it since anyone who’s been married any amount of time can easily identify with this term. He explains that when in this cycle most often it takes one party to let go of whatever issue may have seemed to start the cycle and to start showing their spouse unconditional love and respect. Although it might not be instant, any good-willed (he uses this term a lot) spouse will respond positively when this happens. As with all marriage advice, the solution starts with you. And it’s not about changing your spouse; it’s about giving them what they need. In return they will begin to give you what you need.

I highly recommend reserving this book at your library or purchasing your own copy. It’s a book that would be good to have around as it’s really easy to forget our good intentions when life takes over. I now finished reading the book about a month ago and already wish I had my own copy to refer back to. Old habits are so hard to break and gentle, and not-so-gentle, reminders are necessary at times to jolt us out of our stubborn ways. I hope some of you benefit as I have from this book!

She Said Yes

On the tail of finishing Love and Respect I came across a book I’ve always been interested in reading but never have, She Said Yes. This is a short book written by Misty Bernall, the mother of 17 year old Cassie Bernall, a victim of the Columbine shooting horror of 1999. Misty wrote this book in the weeks and months that followed her daughter’s death (something she took some criticism for) and I think she does such an amazing job of showing the very real, raw pain of grieving and also the amazing redemptive power of remembering and allowing others to learn from your experience.

While by no means a polished, eloquent writer Misty is personal, honest, and vulnerable in her sharing of the ups and downs of parenting Cassie throughout some very rough spells of rebellion and spiritual warfare. She doesn’t preach at all but rather allows the events and circumstances speak for themselves. One thing she does reiterate throughout is the importance of being present with your kids and doing your best to enjoy each stage of their life – a reminder we all need daily, sometimes hourly!

Although many people focus on the end of Cassie’s life, the fact that she said “Yes” when asked at gunpoint if she believed in God (and I don’t want to downplay the significance and amiability of this) but I felt the real power of her story is in the journey Cassie took to get to a place in her life where she really did believe in God in a real and personal way. Two years before her death Cassie was in a place in her life where she easily could have been one of the Columbine shooters rather than a victim. Through the sharing of Cassie’s own letters and testimonies from friends it is very evident that Cassie had given her soul to Satan at that point in her life and had surrounded herself with “friends” who had done the same. It’s eerie to read the letters Misty and her husband found that lead to their family completely uprooting themselves, her quitting her prestigious job, and them devoting themselves 100% to redirecting Cassie’s life. Their struggle was very real and not at all one I hope to ever know first hand but it’s one that too many parents have known and are currently facing.

Of course my favorite aspect of the book is that Cassie does find God in a very real, personal, genuine way. And yet her struggle still continued, as it does for all of us, to feel worthy of God’s love and to incorporate our faith in real and tangible ways. Cassie was 17 when she died but the insight she had into life was amazing. She was a very honest girl who struggled with all the same issues any kid her age (and much older) feels internally but often doesn’t explore very deeply: faith, esteem, friendship, marriage, good vs. evil, body image, family relationships.

I highly recommend this book on both a personal and parenting level. It’s another book that would be good to have around to re-read sections of as children get older and new issues and battles arise and we forget the fragility of life and the absolutely amazing gift it is to be a parent.

Friends

I cannot overemphasize the importance of a few close, trustworthy, honesty friends to walk through life with. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir, but if you have not invested in at least a couple meaningful friendships over the last year, you really must! I am blessed with more than a few really quality friends and boy have they helped put my life into perspective more times than I can count.

This morning is a great example. I had a really horrible night. A few things factored into this: me choosing to stay up too late, two of my kids waking me up a few times for varied lengths of time, three kids up way too early, and raging pregnancy hormones that have caused me to be extra emotional and completely irrational. My poor husband, with every good intention, happened to call me this morning to check in while I was in the midst of feeling pretty low. So, guess who got an earful and more – yep! I’m sure I don’t have to give any details for you to imagine how the conversation went. He gracefully excused himself once he realized my ranting and tears were not going to end any time in the near future and I was left alone to reflect on my unkind, disrespectful monologue (I hardly gave him room to say anything, not that I was really listening when he did). Of course I felt horrible and wanted to curl up in a corner and bawl my eyes out once he was no longer on the phone. But since that was not an option I bawled for a while in the kitchen, hoping the kids didn’t notice too much. Once I composed myself I knew what I needed to do: call a good friend, and I knew just the one. We have been trying to connect for weeks now and the timing was right since she would be on her way to work. Part of me really didn’t want to talk to anyone but I knew I needed to. Not that I needed to rehash my conversation with my husband or have anyone feel sorry for me, I just needed a good dose of reality, and I knew my friend would give it to me.

And she did. We had such a good conversation. I shared my emotional rollercoaster, without unnecessary details, and she listened and sympathized. And then she shared some of her life, of course putting mine in perspective, and I sympathized. I think we both came away with a better grasp on our situation and more determined to be the women of faith and integrity that we want to be. I love that although we live far apart we can continue to connect on a very real level.

Of course building these types of friendships requires time, energy, and emotions of their own and sometimes the effort to maintain them seems more than it’s worth, but it never is. We need each other, we need to be real, and we need to allow others to carry our burdens with us. We also need to be that for other people. But before we can be that or receive that, we need to know ourselves well enough to choose the right people to be around. What are your values, the things that matter most to you, what is your particular phase of life that currently defines your reality? These answers will help lead you to other people who will be of particular help and importance in your current walk of life. For me my focus and reality is being a wife and mother of young kids and trying to integrate my faith into each area in very real and applicable ways. So the obvious area for me to find friends is either at church or bible study or some other similar venue. I’ve had to be intentional about engaging, following up, going out of my comfort zone at times, and adjusting my schedule to make room for developing friendships. It’s not easy, even for an outgoing person like me, but it is so important.

I really believe that without quality close friends, even if you have an amazing spouse or significant other, you are forfeiting one of the best gifts that life can give. It’s not until you have mornings (or days, weeks or months) like I just had that you can really appreciate the full magnitude of these friendships. At times it might feel like you are stuck on the giving end of a friendship but I guarantee that if you are transparent, real, and engaged you will eventually be at the receiving end (maybe more than you want!).

So, thank you to all of you out there who are this type of friend to me. I know I could have called on quite a few of you this morning and you would have been available and happy to give me a shoulder to cry on. I hope you know how much I value you and how grateful I am for the unique voice each of you is in my life.

Nesting

I’m about 28 weeks into my fourth pregnancy and the nesting has already started. Obviously I am limited in the amount of “extra” work I can add due to the sheer amount of energy required of me daily to parent my three little ones, keep a decent house, and make sure we are all happily fed. Most of my nesting energy up until recently has been focused on sorting, organizing, and purging clothes. We have been extremely blessed by many friends and friends of friends who continue to pass their used kids’ clothes on to us. I can count on less than one hand the number of new clothing items we’ve purchased for all three of our kids combined – now that is amazing! Obviously “beggars” can’t be choosers, so I don’t always have the most stylish kids on the block (but they wouldn’t match their parents if they were!), but we’ve gotten some pretty adorable clothes along the way, and everything has been practical (most important!). The only downside to getting hand-me-downs is that I have to constantly be sorting and storing. I have boxes for my almost 4 year old son with clothes up to aged 6. My not-yet 3 year old girl already has boxes with 3-6 clothing. Needless to say, trying to find the space to store clothes for both genders from 0-6 years of age can be a challenge! Not to mention the boxes holding my non-pregnancy fall/winter and spring/summer clothes. No wonder our garage is so crammed!

Now that I’m caught up with clothes sorting (until I have to switch my 15 month old into his 18 month clothing – soon!) I can focus on other things. Recently cleaning areas of neglect and cooking hearty fall meals has been my passion. After reading (not for the first time) about alternative cleaning supplies that are much “greener” and less toxic than traditional cleaners I was inspired to buy a huge bag of baking soda and two huge jugs of vinegar from Costco. I’ve been using the baking soda in the sinks and tub and the vinegar (1 C plus 3 C water) to clean everything from countertops to windows. I’ve also been using baking soda and hydrogen peroxide as toothpaste once a day – it works great if you can stand the taste! I read that you can use ¾ C of baking soda alone on laundry and it works great so I decided to test it on the dirtiest thing I clean – cloth diapers. I added 1 C of baking soda and ½ C Oxi Clean and the diapers came out smelling and looking great! As soon as I use up the detergent we have I’m switching to this formula – I’ll use less of each on regular loads I just used more because of the volume and grossness of the diapers!!  I’ve read plenty of times about using these common household ingredients for cleaning but have never been as inspired to test them out as I am now. I’m happy with the results and plan to do some more investigating. I’ll share my findings.

The cooking aspect of my nesting is a bit frustrating only because we simply don’t have the storage space to make and freeze all the dishes I would like to have on hand when the baby arrives sometime in December. We’ve talked about purchasing a freezer for a long time but due to limited space in our garage don’t really know where it would go. Plus, we really don’t feel like moving a freezer and we’re fairly certain we’ll be moving a few more times over the next couple years (although God could always pleasantly surprise us!). So as it stands I don’t have much room to freeze but I still have the urge to cook! I’ll share a few of the recipes I’ve made this week, all of which make large portions and are great for freezing.

Lentil Stew (serves 10-14)

16 oz dried lentils
1 med. onion, diced
3 stalks celery, cut small
3 C tomatoes (I use 2 cans of diced or stewed tomatoes w/ juice)
½ C pearl barley
2 large potatoes, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 med. carrots, sliced
8-10 C broth (start with 8 and add more if needed)
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. rosemary
1 tsp. oregano
2 tsp. salt (to taste, I usually add 2+ tsp. Johnny Seasoning)

1. In large pot bring lentils, barely, onion, garlic, potatoes, celery, carrots, and stock to a boil. Reduce heat to lowest temperature, cover, and simmer about 35 min. (add more liquid if needed).

2. Add tomatoes and seasoning. Cover and simmer 30-45 min. longer or until lentils are tender.

I HIGHLY recommend making this recipe in the morning and then letting the stew sit and thicken for a few hours (off of burner). It tastes MUCH better after thickening!! I could eat this once a day for weeks, it’s so hearty and tasty and healthy! Google “No Knead Bread” for a great rustic bread that you can make to accompany this. I make this bread a lot and it’s super easy!

Chicken Enchiladas (serves 6-8)

3 chicken breasts, cooked and chopped or shredded (I boil frozen breasts for 20 min).
16 oz light sour cream
16 oz green (verde) salsa (choose mild or med. depending on preference)
2-3 C Jack cheese, shredded (can use any cheese you have on hand, cheddar works fine)
10-14 tortillas (10 inch)
3-4 C red enchilada sauce (you can make this pretty easily if you prefer, find a recipe on allrecipes.com that fits your liking)

1. In a large bowl mix chicken, salsa, sour cream, and 1-1 ½ C cheese.

2. Layer 13x9 dish with thin coat of enchilada sauce.

3. Fill each tortilla with 1/3 C mix, roll and place in dish seams down. You should fit 8 tortillas in 13X9 dish. You can use a smaller dish to make 4-6 more or you can freeze or frigate the mix for later use.

4. Cover tortillas completely with enchilada sauce. Top with remaining cheese.

5. Bake 20-25 min. @ 350, uncovered.

6. Serve with extra sour cream and salsa if desired.

No – Bake Chocolate Cookies (makes 3-4 dozen, depending on size)

1 ½ C sugar (it calls for 2 but is super sweet, suit your taste!)
½ C butter
½ C milk
3 C quick-cooking oats (I used old fashion because that’s what I had and they were still good!)
1 C peanut butter
6 TBS cocoa powder
1 tsp. vanilla

1. In a saucepan boil sugar, butter, and milk for 1 ½ min.

2. Remove from heat and quickly add remaining ingredients.

3. Drop by spoonful onto wax paper, let cool about an hour.

I haven’t tried this yet, but I think adding ½ - 1 tsp. peppermint flavoring might taste good?!

Pregnant and Sick: What can I "take"?

Being sick is never ideal but it’s especially unwelcome when one is pregnant and the remedies available are very limited. I haven’t escaped the sick bug for any of my pregnancies, I doubt anyone has completely, and having just recovered from what I hope to be my last bout of sickness as a pregnant woman, I thought I would comment on a few things I could and did do to get through the worst of it.

I realize that not everyone is a “purist” like me, meaning they are a bit more lenient on themselves when it comes to what they do and don’t do during pregnancy. But the combination of my “just grin and bear it” attitude and my husband’s “don’t do anything they even hint you should do during pregnancy” attitude, it leaves very little room for the regular default when sick: drugs.

What I am recovering from (I do still have a lingering cough, which always seems like the last symptom to grab and hang on at the end of an illness) is some form of sinus cold; mostly a really congested, achy head with lots of mucus flow preventing comfortable sleep for a few nights and leading to some irritable, exhausting days. The first night I was absolutely exhausted but ended up lying in bed for two hours tossing and turning before I thought to get up and use the first remedy I was taught as a child by my mom:

1. Gargle and sniff warm salt water. It sounds strange and is admittedly pretty gross, but I promise it works! I filled a 16oz glass cup with ½ tsp salt and as hot of water as I dared (the hotter the better job it does of breaking up the mucus) and alternated between gargling (really make loud noises with your throat to break up the mucus) and sniffing (just as it sounds, sniff the water through your nose). You will be amazed and grossed out by the results. Lots of phlegm that was hanging around in your nose and throat! It relieved me enough to sleep soundly for a couple of hours. I continued this routine quite a few times a day and night throughout my two worst days of sickness, each time with considerable relief. Be sure to have a tissue around for blowing your nose really well when you are done!

2. Hot lemon water and honey. Another of my mom’s remedies and one that is virtually free. I always have lemon juice concentrate in the fridge (but you can also just squeeze a fresh lemon) so I just pour about ½ inch worth into the bottom of a mug, add hot water, and sweeten with lemon (I like mine more tart than sweet). The lemon does wonders to sooth a sore, raw throat (something else I found myself with). As far as I know you can do this as often as necessary. The other benefit is that you are getting hydrated without forcing down cup after cup of water, which may not be too appealing at this point.

3. Hydrogen peroxide in your ears. This is actually something you should do at the first hint of sickness because it is suppose to help ward off the sickness. I can’t get technical here but if you do a google search of flu and hydrogen peroxide you’ll find all sorts of sites giving the medical reason this should be effective. My husband and I try to use hydrogen peroxide in our ears every time we are feeling a bit off and it has seemed to help over the years. I admit I did do it this time but maybe not soon enough. Anyway, here’s the method: Get a rag, some peroxide, and a pillow and lay on one side. Pour about ¾ capful of peroxide in one ear and relax as you feel the peroxide start to bubble. The more it bubbles (you should wait between 8-10 min. for it to either stop or heavily subside) the more it’s suppose to be working. I have tried it when I don’t feel sick and most often it never does bubble, so I do actually believe it’s doing something right when it does bubble. When the time is up switch sides and repeat. The bubbles can be a bit tickly if they are really going crazy but for the most part I find this a relaxing activity. I’ve done it more than once in a day but usually it doesn’t bubble much the second time.

4. Drink Jello that is still warm and hasn’t had a chance to settle yet. This was the recommendation of my neighbor the other day and she had a package she insisted I try so I did. I simply added a cup of hot water and a cup of cold water and drank it slowly. It was quite tasty and there was something about the gelatin texture that was soothing. By the time I did drink it I was pretty much better but I could see how this would be especially helpful if you had flu-like symptoms and weren’t able to stomach much. It’s also great for kids. My kids, like me, were pretty much better by last night but they were delighted to try the Jello drink and I have a feeling it will become a requested favorite when they get sick again – and something I won’t have to fight them to ingest. It does have quite a bit of sugar in it but I’m sure you could get the sugar free or make your own if you wanted.

5. Drink as much water as you can get yourself to drink (within reason of course, don’t go shocking your body because you can actually drink too much water – I’ve known someone who ended up in the hospital with serious issues because of it). Just be sure you drink at least the recommended 8 cups of water a day, and preferably more like 10.

6. Nap. Ok, I know most of you don’t need to be told this but I do! I am not a good daytime sleeper, or at least I wasn’t until about my third pregnancy. Then it became a matter of survival because my naps were really just getting me as close as possible to 8 hours of total rest time in 24 hours. I hate taking naps because I like to use that time for other things I can’t usually do when the kids are awake. But between weeks 8-18 of pregnancy I find it hard to resist them when I do have a chance. And when I’m sick I find them especially helpful for giving me the boost I need to endure through dinner and bedtime routines without having a complete meltdown. So please, if you are like me and tend to write naps off for “lazy people”, get over it and take one. You’ll be glad you did (once you actually wake up that is, sometimes I do feel worst for about 10 min. after waking up because I’m so out of it).

I’m sure I could think of more but I’ll stick to these. I would be curious to know what others of you do to deal with sickness without drugs (pregnant or not). I’m always open to trying new things as long as they are virtually free and not too strange!

What's Cooking?

My mother-in-law gave me this great little gift last Christmas that has made all the difference for me when it comes to being intentional about meal planning and grocery shopping. It’s one of those magnetic pads that stick on the refrigerator. It’s appropriately titled, “What’s Cookin’?” and contains two columns, on the left it lists the days of the week vertically with enough room to write out meal ideas. The right side is titled “Shopping List” and it’s a place to write down items I need to pick up on my next run to the store. Although I’ve had to get more organized about meal planning over the years as our family rapidly transitioned from two adults to the addition of three little ones in three years, I had never quite found the right system for me. This simple list has changed that. Now I will admit to being a bit bent toward a type A personality. I’m the first born and have always enjoyed being organized. Not anal or anything but definitely driven to plan ahead and know what to expect. So sitting down on Saturday or Sunday evening with my “What’s Cookin’?” pad and recipe box and deciding what I want to make for the week is almost always enjoyable. Of course I don’t always stick to our menu choices but mostly it’s only because I over plan and we end up eating leftovers one night instead of me cooking a new meal – that’s always a welcome change for me! Once I’ve written out my meal ideas I go through the list of ingredients and write down any I’ll need to pick up at the store. I try to make dishes that incorporate much of what I have around already but it’s nearly impossible to have everything. And here’s the part that I get a good chuckle out of: I re-write my shopping list once it’s complete in order of what I’ll find where in the store. This is not something I would have dreamed of doing before having kids! In fact, I remember enjoying roaming every isle leisurely; picking items up on a whim that looked good. Gone are those days! With three kids as company (not always, but most often), getting in and out as quickly as possible is my motto!

Now here’s another bonus: my husband has begun to look at the list regularly and no longer asks that irritating, “What’s for dinner” question that makes me feel like he doubts I’ve thought about it and wants to remind me that our family is hungry. It’s not fair to accuse him of that because I doubt that’s often his real motive (he’s a simple, straight-forward man and I’m sure he is really just curious about what he’ll be eating in a few hours) but it always use to put me on edge because often I really wasn’t sure. Now (almost always) I am sure and it’s nice to see him go over to the list and check it himself. Not that he always approves, in fact sometimes he asks if we can change items around, maybe have grilled chicken and French fries tonight and the lentil casserole another night, but he always eats what I make and he always, every single meal I make, thanks me for making it.

In case you need a few more good reasons to start being intentional about meal-planning, here are some I came up with:

1. No more frantic 5 o’clock searches of the cupboards, freezer, and fridge to find something tolerable and quick to eat.

2. Less runs to the grocery store to pick up last minute items. I’ve found that I can now shop once every week to week and a half if I plan well. I save a lot of money this way because every extra trip to the store means a few extra items I didn’t plan to get – I just can’t leave with only what’s on my list (although I’ve gotten MUCH better!).

3. More balanced meals. Sometimes if I wait until the last minute and I am very hungry I will make whatever sounds good, and typically that is something salty, greasy, and fast. If I’ve planned ahead I can be intentional about having some vegetarian meals, some heavy meat meals, and some lighter meals like salad or soup.

4. I am now more likely to plan ahead and actually try new recipes. Since I have a time to sit down and plan it lends itself more easily to looking for and incorporating new ideas.

5. I can ask my family what they want before the week starts and have everything on hand to make their request. In the future, when my kids get older, I will have each of them (with my help and assistance) plan and prepare one meal a week which will hopefully set them up to be competent and comfortable cooking their own meals once they set out on their own.

One more thing: I am one of those people who, when in the right mood, could “waste” hours looking through cookbooks, recipe cards, or on-line recipe sites (allrecipes.com is my favorite because I enjoy reviewing others’ comments and getting ideas of how to tweak things to satisfy my likes as well). I don’t spend much time doing any of these activities anymore simply because time doesn’t allow but when I do I always enjoy the process and the couple of new recipes I come away with to try.

So, in the spirit of meal planning, let me share a few meals that I’ve made over the last few days, maybe one or more will appeal to you and inspire you to do some planning ahead of your own.

Curry Chicken, Broccoli & Rice Bake – 6-8 servings (generous)

3 chicken breasts, cooked & cubed
2 large bunches of broccoli, cut and cooked
1 ½ C uncooked rice, cooked (about 4 ½ C cooked)
3 ½ C chicken broth
1 ½ C milk
2/3 C butter
2/3 C flour
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
2/3 C onion, chopped
2 TBS lemon juice
3-4 TBS curry powder (depending on taste)

1. Cook chicken (I take frozen breasts and boil in water for about 20 min.), cool and cube.

2. Cook broccoli (I cut and boil in water for about 10 min.).

3. Cook rice (I like to use brown Basmati or Jasmine, but any kind works).

4. In a large saucepan, over medium heat, cook the sauce: melt butter. Stir in onion, salt and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture is bubbly; remove from heat. Stir in broth and milk. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat. Stir in lemon juice and curry.

5. Mix all ingredients together in a 9x13 dish. If you are serving immediately it doesn’t need to be cooked, if you want to keep it in the fridge over night you can either re-heat in the oven at 350 for about 20 min. or until heated through. You may also re-heat individual servings in the microwave.

Tamale Lentil Casserole – 6-8 servings (http://www.bettycrocker.com/)

1 TBS oil
1 onion, chopped (1 C)
1 medium green pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
3 ½ C water
1 ¼ C dried lentils, rinsed & sorted
14 oz tomato sauce (I use Prego but you can use anything)
1 pkg. taco seasoning (1/4 C)
8 ½ oz package cornbread mix (I use Jiffy because it's so cheap)
8 ½ oz can cream-style corn
½ C cheddar cheese, shredded
½ C milk
1 lg. egg

1. Heat oil over med. heat and cook onion, pepper, and garlic until tender.

2. Stir in water, lentils, tomato sauce, and taco seasoning. Heat over med. high until boiling. Reduce to a simmer and partly cover, cooking for 1 or more hours, until lentils are tender. (I like to cook for about 1 ½ hours to really let the flavors blend).

3. In a large bowl combined cornbread mix, corn, cheese, milk, and egg. Mix until moist.

4. Grease a 2 quart casserole dish. Spoon lentil mix into dish and top with cornbread topping. Bake uncovered for 15-20 minutes, until top is golden brown. Always put a cookie sheet under your casserole dish while baking, I forgot to last time and I have a gross mess to clean in my oven!

5. Let sit 10 min. before serving.

Chicken Pasta Salad – Serves 10-12

16 oz package pasta, cooked and drained
1 C celery, chopped
¾ C green olives, chopped
1 C green beans, chopped (can cook if frozen, or keep raw if fresh)
2 chicken breasts seasoned with Johnny’s Seasoning, cooked, and chopped
1 C salad dressing (I used ½ C balsamic vinaigrette & ½ C Italian dressing, but use what you like – a more Thousand Island/Ranch dressing was what was used in the original that I tasted).  Add more dressing if desired.

1. Mix all ingredients into a large bowl. Cover with clear wrap and let chill for at least 2 hours, preferably overnight.

Each of these recipes are great as leftovers.  In fact, for dinner tonight I ate the chicken curry, my two sons ate the lentil casserole, and my daughter ate the pasta salad (my hubby was working).  I took lentil casserole with my for lunch when I subbed yesterday.  I LOVE leftovers (and so does the rest of my family) so I am very blessed!!!

A Redeemed Day

Yesterday was not the sort of day I believed could or would be redeemed. I think what surprised me the most was the simplicity of how it was redeemed. Mostly I have my husband to thank. I need to remember how far a few kind words and acts of kindness can go. There was absolutely nothing extraordinary about what he said or did, just the fact that it was exactly what my mind, heart, soul, and body needed – desperately!

The day started at 3:45am when my 14 month old awoke. He had a fever two days previous and had been especially testy for the last few days so I wasn’t shocked by the wake-up call. But I didn’t expect that he would stay awake the rest of the night/morning and eventually wake our middle child at 5am and our oldest at 6:30. So by the time the sun was starting to rise I found myself in the living room surrounded by three very cranky kids. Because my husband had retired the previous night saying he felt like he was fighting some bug I really wanted to let him sleep as late as possible . . . but I also wanted to go wake him up and beg from some help too. I was so frustrated, tired, and impatient by this point (did I mention that I am 6 months pregnant?). I was also burdened by the sinking feeling that our family might not be making the two hour trip to attend a family reunion that day that I had been looking forward to. I made myself some tea, turned on a video for the kids, and sat down at the computer to write through some of my emotions and thoughts, an activity I find especially helpful and cathartic when I’m overwhelmed by my circumstances – which I very much was!

At around 8:30 I woke up my husband. I was feeling better than a few hours previous but was still edgy and on the verge of a pity party. I was also ready for a fight, fully expecting my husband to call off our reunion plans. Although he wasn’t thrilled about driving two hours each way with cranky, tired kids (and wife) he didn’t say so much. Rather he was surprised I had let him sleep in so long, and although he wasn’t excited about the state of our kids, he didn’t hassle me about going other than asking pointedly a few times if I was sure it was a good idea. I insisted I wanted to go and he complied by getting in the shower and moving forward with getting ready. I knew he didn’t agree with my choice but since he wasn’t pushing the issue I flung ahead with packing an extra change of clothes (did I mention it had been pouring down rain for about 4-5 hours and the forecast was for it to continue all day – and the reunion was being held outdoors at a park?). I was really dreading trying to contain my 14 month old who was still crawling and would have nothing to do with being held or contained while the other kids ran around the soaking wet grass . . .

The beginning of redemption was when my husband got out of the shower and casually asked if I had read our daily devotional calendar in the bathroom yet. I said no and asked why (expecting it to say something that inferred we shouldn’t go or about living with a wife who was a dripping faucet, something chastising for sure). So imagine my surprise when I went in and read the following words: “A good spirit attracts friends.” My heart immediately warmed and my step felt lighter. It was crazy that those five words could have such an effect! I gave my husband a kiss on the cheek and told him how much that meant to me. He made me smile even broader when he responded, “It’s true, you do have a good spirit and that’s why you have so many good friends.” Getting out of the house an hour later than I had hoped no longer frustrated me so much.

As we pulled out of our driveway and headed to the nearest gas station to fill up I decided to call my sister who had left town 45 minutes earlier to hear how traffic was (it was Saturday of Labor Day weekend). She informed me that they were currently driving 25 mph on I-5 and had been that way for quite some time. My heart sank. But stubborn me still insisted on filling up and moving forward. At the last stoplight before the highway on-ramp I decided I really should pray about the situation (I hadn’t yet). I forced myself to close my eyes and ask God to show me what was best for our family. I immediately knew the right decision. I hated to voice it, but with the rain beating down and the reality of a 2 hour drive taking closer to 3 or more I knew that what I wanted was not what was best for my family. I shocked my husband by telling him that we weren’t going to go to the reunion. He asked what made me decide that. I said I prayed about it. He asked if God told me not to go. Not in those exact words I told him, but yes God had made it clear that going was not what was best for my family. At my husband’s suggestion we headed the opposite direction on the highway and went to our local mall that has a great indoor playground for kids. We sat together talking lightly enjoying the joyful noise of our kids playing.

After an hour of play we headed home and enjoyed a nice lunch together before taking much-needed naps. My husband let me snooze away for close to two hours while he took our youngest (who woke early because of a dirty diaper) for an hour walk to keep the house quiet. I was refreshed and grateful when I woke up. A few minutes later my sister called to inform me that we had made the right decision to stay home since the reunion had really only lasted an hour and a half due to the rain and that they were already on their way home. I was still sad to have missed out on seeing my relatives but I was even more confident now in the decision I had made and the conviction I believe God had given me.

The nap was enough to redeem the rest of the afternoon but my husband added icing to the cake when he offered to take our 14 month old with him to run some errands while I worked on dinner. During his hour and a half away I was able to leisurely prepare two meals, two desserts, and an assortment of cooked veggies for our youngest (enough cooking to last at least 2 days, maybe more). Our older two children played together happily the whole time occasionally taking breaks to check in on me and “help” as well as set the table when I asked (OK, it did take a few times of asking, but they did do it!). By the time my husband returned my whole outlook on my life had shifted completely from what it had been in the morning. And to top it all off my husband surprised me by buying a half gallon of my favorite ice cream, Breyer’s Natural Bean Vanilla, to go with the brownies and apple crisp I had made. This act of love spoke volumes since we cut ice cream out of our budget back in January when we had taken a hard look at our finances and realized we had to cut all excess out in order to keep from living on credit. After another enjoyable family meal and some playtime we put the kids to bed, snuggled up on the couch, enjoyed our brownies and ice cream, and watched the beginning of “Pearl Harbor” (it was too long to watch the whole thing in one setting, a great excuse to cuddle up again tonight for another “date”!). When I closed my eyes for the night I couldn’t help but smile and feel thankful for a day that had started so crummy and ended so well.

Cranky Kids and Sleepless Nights

I’ve had one of the roughest nights that I can recall since having kids. It’s a good thing that the mind, body, and spirit are so resilient because if they weren’t I don’t think any of us would have more than one kid! And here I sit, 6 months pregnant with our fourth, and as sleep-deprived, frustrated, and at my wits end as I can remember being. Well, I’m sure it could get worst but I don’t want to let my mind go there. It’s mainly my 14 month old that is testing the limits of my patience, kindness, love, gentleness, and self-control. I desperately need the help of the Spirit right now because all my human nature wants to do is throw him in bed, close the door, and leave him there all day. And yet I can’t. I know he wouldn’t be cranky, whiny, and overall unpleasant for no reason. And there is always that voice in my head warning that something serious really could be wrong and I need to be careful not to treat him in a way I might regret later. But man is that tough!
So, rather than focusing on what is driving me crazy I need to figure out a way to survive through hours, days, weeks, and months like these and be able to look back with some semblance of pride as to how I handled it. At this moment I’m doing a few things that are helping so I’ll share them with you. Please bare with me because I’m literally writing this on 4 hours of sleep with an off and on cranky boy hounding me and screeching at random intervals, two other young children momentarily distracted by a video but also sleep-deprived because of their younger brother, and the dreaded feeling that our family will most likely not be driving the two hours to a family reunion that I really want to attend today. Oh, and it’s been pouring down rain for about 5 hours straight now! I guess I did just focus on what is driving me crazy, but I think that part of the solution does lie in being able to do that.

Here I go with an attempt at a survival guide, wish me luck!

1. Do something that makes you happy, or at least happier – For me that meant immediately starting the hot water for tea, putting on my comfy sweats, and starting up the computer.

2. Do something that makes your kids happy – For the older two it was turning on a video (we don’t have TV), giving them a Snacktrap with cereal, and not worrying if they had a bit more “screen time” than we might typically allow. For my 14 month old it meant giving him another bottle of milk (we usually only give one in the morning and one at night but since he had his at 3am I was ok giving him another one – it made him happy for about 5 minutes!) and giving him a toothbrush to chew on (someone told me that made their teething baby happy). I would medicate him but I already tried that at about 4am so I can’t give him more for a while, plus it doesn’t seem to be doing anything to help.

3. Get your frustration off your chest in a constructive way – This often means taking a step away from the situation by going for a walk (I can’t in this rain), talking to a friend who understands (I won’t wake them up this early!), or writing it out. I’ve found that writing or talking through my frustration and anger really helps me to gain a new perspective on it. Typically once I get it off my chest I can take a step back, breath, and gain some new energy and hope that this too will pass. I already feel so much better just having taken the time to write, even if my circumstances haven’t changed. A few other things that might help, depending on your personality, could be cooking or baking or working on some craft that you enjoy – just realize you won’t go uninterrupted!

4. Check in often with your kids – Even if they do start entertaining themselves and calm down enough for you to relax don’t give yourself the green light to write them off until they are needy again. When you see them doing something nice go join them for a few minutes. I just spent a bit of time putting MegaBlocks together with my youngest and felt so much better doing that than only attending to him when he is melting down at my feet. Stop and ask your other kids how they are doing, go sit with them for a minute or two and cuddle as they are contently distracted. It feels so good to give and receive love, especially when you are feeling so overwhelmed!

5. Count your blessings – How many people would love to be parents but can’t be? A lot! How many people would love to be able to hold and comfort their children when they are grumpy or sick and can’t – I’m sure many. How many people would love to be able to complain that their only ailment is sleep-deprivation but instead live with the reality of chronic pain, cancer, mental illness, or more? As soon as I allow my mind to go here (and sometimes it takes a while because I just want to have a pity party) I can no longer allow the cloud of darkness and despair to remain. Not that it just disappears but it sure doesn’t look so big or overwhelming. Circumstances could be SO much worst.

6. Cry out to God – I admit I know this should be the first step but way to often it’s not. I wait until I am no longer in control and afraid of what I might do until I cry out. It’s more of a whining groan actually. Just like my kids do with me. Wow, what a mirror into humanity! One of my favorite verses, and one I cling to often, is found in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt.” Don’t just ask in your moment of despair; keep asking, especially when you no longer feel the despair of the moment. I’ve been amazed at the different methods God has used to give me the wisdom I seek: a casual conversation, something I read that initially seems unrelated to my issue, words I write that aren’t mine, fresh insight I receive while walking, running, or simply being outdoors. So ask, and ask again, and don’t stop asking or believing. And surround yourself by others who ask because you are much more likely to receive real wisdom from them when you do!

Ok, that’s about all I can think of right now! My youngest is now down for a nap, my older two are ready to eat, and I’m ready to sit down and enjoy their company – and then go wake my husband up so I can either go back to bed or we can get on the road!

Preschool: Where Do You Start?

As I stated in my former post addressing why we have decided to homeschool, our children are still quite young with the oldest turning four in October and the second being only two and a half. Because of our choice to live on one income we don’t have the option to send either of our children to preschool. However, even if we did we wouldn’t necessarily do it. I’m not saying that to knock anyone who does. There is plenty of value in preschool! But I don’t believe it is a necessary step in child development if you are able and willing to adjust your lifestyle to meet the needs of your kids. I don’t mean giving up any freedom you have, that’s not healthy, but I do mean taking a hard look at your family’s schedule and making some tough choices if it is so crammed full that you are literally dragging your kids from one activity to another without any form of down-time or routine. But I’m getting ahead of myself!

In my opinion the main goal of preschool should be to teach your children basic educational concepts in a relaxed, flexible, enjoyable atmosphere that allows for a lot of play time and interaction with others. I do think this can be done without a concrete objective simply through being engaged with your child about the world around them. But I also believe that with a bit more effort and intentionality you can set your child up to be more successful once benchmarks do become important – and they will.

The resources can be a bit overwhelming if you do an internet search for preschool curriculum and material. That said, I do recommend spending a bit of time looking just to familiarize yourself with what is out there. You might find something that works for you or something you will return to later when your child gets older or your finances allow you to purchase more. In the meantime I strongly urge you to sit down with a good ole pencil and paper and start the process of writing out your objective. In one or two sentences write out what you want your child to have accomplished by the end of the year. Or maybe you want to write an objective for each month. Whatever you choose be sure to be specific.

This is what I came up with after quite a bit of research and more ideas than I knew what to do with:

“I want my children to know their letters, numbers, and shapes and be able to write them out on their own. I also want to teach them the importance of scripture by helping them to memorize one scripture a week.”

It was really hard to limit myself to those items but once I did I felt so much relief. It’s not that I can teach them more it’s just that I’m not going to beat myself up (or them) to take on more than I can handle right now and end up burned out and disillusioned.

So I purchased a whiteboard and set out to organize my objective on it. It didn’t take long for me to finalize my idea. Sticking to the basics has been refreshing and has taken the anxiety out of this process. Plus, my kids aren’t overwhelmed by the addition.

Because we have the privilege of eating most of our meals together it made sense to post the board in our dining room where it would be central for discussion often. Breakfast is when I make the biggest push to go over concepts but I revisit them at each meal when possible and incorporate them into our other activities as circumstances allow.

The other element of a well-rounded preschool experience is the exposure to other kids and adults. I am fortunate to have a solid church family that provides both. I attend weekly biblestudy on Tuesdays and church service on Sundays. My kids look forward to their time with their teachers and the interaction with other kids. I also incorporate at least one play date a week, often more, to keep myself sane (I love the interaction with other moms) and to help expose my kids to other forms of parenting and playing in new environments (their homes, parks, etc.). I do my best to go on walks a few times a week and visit new places when possible so that my children are exposed to various outdoor settings: parks, trails, rural, urban, wildlife, historical sites, railroads, airports, etc. Each of these environments lend themselves to many questions and great learning opportunities. Our area has exceptional parks and it’s fun to try new ones but to also have a few really close options so that we aren’t always having to pack up and drive somewhere.

Starting with a simple objective and incorporating more as you feel inspired, and as your children ask for it, is the best advice I have for starting your child toward a positive preschool experience!

Homeschooling: Why Our Family is Starting

My husband and I were both raised in the public school system and we both have good memories (for the most part) of our experiences. I was a public school teacher at the middle school level for four year and although I saw things I disapproved of I had an overall fulfilling career. So why in the world would we choose to homeschool our own children?

First off I want to make it clear that we will revisit our decision each year and for each kid. We do not know what the future holds and to say this is what is best for the next 18 years for each of our children is foolish. However, right now it is absolutely the best decision. Here is why: none of our children are of school age so the option to send them to a public school is out of the question. Our finances do not allow for us to even consider putting our oldest in preschool so that is also out of the question. This leaves us with two options: begin some pre-schooling of our own or don’t.

I don’t think it is crucial that a four year old receive “pre-schooling”. I’ve had plenty of friends who have allowed their kids to “be kids” and have not worried about doing anything formal before sending their child to kindergarten and their child has adjusted as well as any other. I also know that plenty of people pay good money to send their children to expensive preschools only to have headache after headache when their child enters kindergarten or first grade. There is just no way to ensure that your child will adapt well, there are too many factors involved.

But one thing you can do, and this is what our decision came down to, is be intentional about giving your child a good base at home. It doesn’t take a person with a degree in education or even someone who has worked with kids before to start teaching their child some basic concepts. Since I am a former teacher I wanted to go full-blown when I started but after looking at just a few of the gazillion resources on-line I was so overwhelmed that I almost didn’t start at all. What helped me the most was to sit down, as I was taught to do as a middle school teacher, and write down my objective in a sentence or two. Once I was able to do that I realized that simple was best. So I went out and purchased a whiteboard and determined that everything I wanted to teach for a week needed to fit on the whiteboard. I can’t tell you the weight that was lifted once I was able to do this! I no longer felt obligated to run out and buy all the educational posters and materials that I had earlier felt I needed (but not known how I was going to afford).

For some of you who have older kids your objective will definitely be a bit more extensive but for my almost 4 and 2.5 year olds I knew that simple was best. And my 14 month old can only benefit from the routine of seeing and hearing his older siblings practicing their verses, letters, numbers, shapes, and math.

Although we have every intention of continuing this process of homeschooling our children, we will continue to take it year by year, child by child and I encourage the rest of you to do the same – as long as you have that choice. I do realize that life circumstances have prevented many of you from having this option. However, as I will address in another post on one-income living, we do have many more choices than most of us realize when it comes to how much we live on!